407 at 3:29

So despite promising myself earlier today (and yesterday, and last week) that I need to get on a better schedule, I'm up posting this at 3:29 am. Last night I actually had a dream which involved getting to work late, people stealing my desk (which actually does happen a lot, but this was more severe), and then realizing I was in some pretty awkward pajamas and not work clothes. And then I woke up, waaay after my alarm had started going off.

I actually did turn off my computer earlier (before 1) tonight in an effort to get to bed at a semi-reasonable hour, but I turned it back on because I was really frustrated with blood sugar issues, so I wanted to settle down (and break me off a little piece of that diabetes OC to help) before I try to go to sleep. Basically: after working out tonight, I'm 97. I don't eat anything, I go grocery shopping (which usually drops me), and 3 hours later, I'm 397. Wash hands, repeat: 382. Yup. My site doesn't hurt, no visible blood or loose tape, and isn't due to be changed until tomorrow afternoon (I try to change it every 2 1/2 days or less). When I took it out, there was blood in the cannula - but I had no way of knowing the site was bad until my blood sugars went nuts (and for a second, I felt guilty for not having tested for 3 hours, and then I realized that is ridiculous). I gave myself a shot, fairly aggressive but not super aggressive because it's near bedtime, and 2 hours later I haven't budged - I'm 407. Don't want to give myself a lot more insulin since it's still bedtime and sometimes my body reacts really late to insulin and I bottom out, but probably I need more before I go to sleep.

I know sites fail occasionally, but I just am frustrated and worried cuz it's happening all the time, again (this happened to me last winter/spring, I took a pumping break and tried some new sites). It seems like my pump isn't dependable anymore again. Or I don't even know. I have been in the 300s routinely in the last few weeks, despite not being sick, testing 12+ times a day, and not drinking much at holiday festivities. I started paying less attention because I was exhausted/burned out from paying so much attention and having things still not work out. Sometimes I am eating crappy or underbolusing or needing an adjustment in my insulin rates because I've been exercising less, but I don't even know how to sort out what's what, changes I need to make or bad sites any more. Between not trusting my pump and being burned out, I sometimes can't figure it out or just don't have the energy to. You know it's bad when you're going through ketone strips like crazy just to try to figure out if your pump is working... (hey, at least walgreens started making the generic ones now!)

I'm it! Here are my seven.

Jonah and Beth both tagged me for the seven random/weird things meme. Thanks! This is good, my exam today is done and I wanna get back to blogging. I feel like I already write here some of the weird things about me, but I'll try to cook up a few more.

1. When I was little, I used to shave every morning. I would get really really jealous of my dad shaving, so he'd give me a plastic spoon and some shaving cream (the kind with an orange top that comes out as awesome turquoise gel and turns into creamy white foam when you rub it). I would stand next to him in the bathroom mirror and shave my face almost every day (except when I got out of bed too late, which yes, I was doing even at 5 or 6 years old). Kind of funny for someone who doesn't shave her legs or pits at all now. Or... maybe it makes perfect sense.
   
2. I love thunderstorms.
   
3. Sometimes when I have a really intense yawn or nose-blowing, I feel like I can breathe in air through my ears.
   
4. I am kind of in love the idea of my body being pregnant. Not with the idea of having a kid, I really want nothing to do with having any kids right now (or possibly ever). Just the idea of my body being physically pregnant. This is the opposite of how most people feel I think - they want the kid without all the icky physical things about a pregnancy. And I am well aware of how ridiculous this may seem, especially considering the actual reality and the extra mental/emotional and physical burden that would come with a diabetic pregnancy. And I should know better, considering that what I do all day at work is review medical records of pregnancy, scary complications and all. And even scarier/more painful, labor and delivery records (can you say, episiotomy? how 'bout 2nd degree vaginal laceration? contractions at a pain level of 10 out of 10?). But that's why this is just a fantasy, and it's about the beauty and roundness and just the general physical idea of being pregnant.
5. Speaking of being pregnant, people think I am all the time. I get people giving up seats for me on the train for no apparent reason except that they are looking at my belly and smiling sweetly at me/it. I get asked about it my strangers and less socially conscious/inhibited family members (most recently, my grandmother and a cashier in a cafeteria). I wrote about it a long time ago - I just have a belly on me, which isn't that proportional to the rest of me I guess. Haha, or maybe my thoughts from #4 cause me to give off some kind of vibe?
   
6. My ring finger is my favorite for checking blood sugar.
7. I eat apples from the bottom up instead of around the sides. Since I eat more of the apple than most people, usually a little tiny core, it's the best way to go at it.
   

I'm tagging bsom, estrogenmoment, Claire, misscripchick, Liz, Kameron, FatlyYours, Jes, and Hannah. (yes, that's 9... see below how I feel about rules! or above, how I feel about decisions...) I don't know if all of you do memes, but it's worth a try.

Rules (but I'm all about bending/breaking 'em if ya want):

1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.